I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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