i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
