Come see our sink grown plant.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
