i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
