She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
