isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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