bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
