there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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