last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
