I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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