Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
