At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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