I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
