so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
