I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
