how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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