I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
