NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
