Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
