I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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