YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
