i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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