I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I think a kid would responsible me up
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
