i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
