i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
