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Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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