what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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