i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
