I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
