you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
