I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
