Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
