i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
