physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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