Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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