I puked a lego.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
