All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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