She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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