Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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