Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
