i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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