I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
