Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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