You're completely useless in the revolution.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
