You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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