Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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