Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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