Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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