I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
