During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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