oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
When did angry sex become our thing?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
