I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
