I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
