last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
