Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
